How was research day?

How was it? I'm so glad you asked.

So research day is a chance for people at my med school to add a line to their CVs. We get together and have a big poster session, presenting the research projects we have done during our time at med school.

And it was fine. I presented a project that I started 1.5 years ago and never got around to finishing. I still need to write it up, but at least the hard part is done. I got to field all sorts of fantastic questions about it though.

"Oh is THIS what you're going to be doing for your PhD?" (No.)

and...

"Oh, what ARE you planning on going into, then?" (Um, I don't know.)

and...

"Why haven't you signed up for the EM sub-i?" (Because there aren't enough months in the year.)

And then were the awkward questions from the few Epi people who came around to say hi.

"Oh you liked oncology. You should really talk to [the woman who only bothered to return your emails after being goaded by three separate faculty members -- and then refused to meet for two more months because she was writing a grant]. Or you could talk to [that professor who was kind of a dick to you during the intro class]."

and...

"Why haven't you signed up for EM? I don't want you to blow your chances at a good residency by having to do it when you come back to the clinics in a few years when you won't be on your game anymore."

OMG, AWKWARD!! I think everyone in my department thinks I am hopelessly aimless in my quest to find a mentor. I want to tell them to leave me alone. That it will all be fine, I will find someone. That their advice, though clearly well meaning, is not helping.

I want to run away.

But other than those particular problems, I felt the day went well. It was nice seeing people whom I hadn't seen in a while. I'm jealous that they all seem to know what they want to do with their lives. By the time I'm done with this program, some of them will be attendings.

Scary.