I had a meeting today scheduled to meet with a potential committee member at 11. He never showed up, and then his secretary told me that he was out for Yom Kippur.
Funny, he had suggested the date and time to me. I suppose he must have forgotten that it was a holiday, and then not remembered to cancel once he realized he wouldn't be in. Or maybe he never put me on his schedule in the first place. That's happened before with other prospective mentors.
Anyway, I doubt it was malicious. Maybe just a tad careless?
At least I brought a journal article to read while I waited.....
A few months back while I was waiting in the hallway on MLK day for a different prospective mentor to show up (he eventually did 15 minutes late, which really isn't bad compared to some other people), wondering whether he wasn't going to come in at all, I had the opportunity to talk with a very nice collaborator of the guy about career paths and how one ends up doing what one ends up doing.
He told me a story about how his daughter one day happened to have a conversation with some person who did absolutely amazing (she thought) research in a particular area. And how that single 15 minute interaction determined the trajectory of her career for the next 10 years. And how sometimes choosing a mentor is as simple as finding someone who you click with. Who takes an interest in you.
It's funny to think that I've chosen my mentor not only based on his research area of interest (which is amazingly cool), but also based on the fact that he shows up on time for meetings. Or shows up at all.
I guess things just work out that way sometimes.
8 Pearls of Wisdom:
I think finding someone whose research is thrillingly exciting AND who shows up on time AND is easy, or at least bearable to work with is like winning the lottery, multiple times in a row.
I met with pretty much everyone who would agree to meet with me when I was looking for a mentor. The mentor I finally chose is a really great guy, makes a point of being physically present in the lab all day, every day, and takes an interest in his students both scientifically and personally. And he's funny. The research? In the beginning I found it rather boring, but many months in it's exciting and I enjoy doing the day-to-day things in the lab.
I guess my point is that for me, picking a mentor whose personality and work-style agreed with me was more important than the actual research.
After sundown on the 27th he wasn't allowed to use a telephone. I think that is why he didn't call.
Gil, He used email all day on Monday to reschedule with me. Is that allowed?
I don't think so! I was giving him the benefit of the doubt that maybe he was a practicing Orthodox Jew. All of this is from memories many years ago as I'm an Italian Catholic.
Well, thank you for enhancing my cultural awareness nonetheless.
I had plenty of Jewish friends in high school and college. Most were the children of holocaust survivors and a few were survivors themselves.
It's interesting that you say that Gil, because I grew up in Manhattan where half my classmates were Jewish. However I have been told that the reason I still know very little about Judaism is that Manhattan Jews are all *secular* whereas those who live outside of Manhattan are more likely to be actively practicing. I had never really given it much thought before. I am curious where you grew up.
Of course my Italian husband knew practically no Jewish people at all until he moved to the US for the reasons you mentioned above.
I grew up in Eastern Connecticut about fifteen minutes from the Mohegan Sun casino. My wife grew up just South of UCONN. We are probably closer to your parents age than to your age. Therefore, the Jewish people we went to school with had parents that were pretty strict. I remember being forced to daring ginger ale with dinner as my friend's family was having roast beef. To a son of Italians being forced to drink soda was a gift!
Don't most of the very Orthodox Jews live in their own communities in: Brooklyn Upstate and some town in NJ?
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