So apparently my program has gone from being happy with my progress to "concerned" again. Because my original project isn't going to fly and I need to find another.
Gah!
I hate that word.
Concerned.
And now I have to come up with (again) some project that fits in a particular box. A particular fundable box. That is doable and (hopefully) interesting to me. Though that is becoming less of a priority by the minute.
I'm sorry, dear readers, for boring you with this AGAIN. It bores me too, believe you me.
(beats head on desk)
Oh, and now I'm told that the reason they are always reluctant to accept MD-PhD candidates to my program is because we don't always have what we specifically want to do in mind when we start. Which is (obviously) obtained only after years of residency.
No pressure or anything. It's just if you're a failure we'll never admit anyone to the program again.
I feel like they're all just waiting for me to fail and that I'm along for the ride, unable to avert the course. And it sucks.
9 Pearls of Wisdom:
My goodness...you poor thing. Nothing sucks quite like "concerned" unless it is the phrase "crisis of confidence." I just picture this entire conference room of people who are training each other to make other people cry...
"Concerned" has a patronizing ring to it, doesn't it?
I always loved evaluations where they told me I was "adequate".
I guess what annoyed me was that I wasn't all that "concerned" myself since I hadn't done a lot of work yet on the project, and I also figured that occasionally having to scrap ideas is part of the process. Apparently my mentor thinks this too, but somehow is still concerned.
Maybe he is just trying to be empathetic?
Gah!
My program has been "concerned" since I started. I think it's because they don't understand the non-basic science PhDs. They were appalled that I had to take classes! And find my own funding! They say the same thing about being reluctant to admit MD/PhD candidates to my program too. I just try to tune them out and reassure myself that I will be much better prepared to function as an independent researcher once I graduate.
Not related to your post (although I feel your pain) but every time I come to your blog for the last week or two my anti-virus software goes nuts saying I'm being hit from a malicious site.
Not sure if its due to a script running on the page or what, but I thought I'd let you know.
Lillian -- There is another person like me! Thanks for commenting!
Yes, I do think that part of the issue stems from the fact that I'm the first person to really ever do this (except for the people before me who dropped out....), the fact that I've done 3 years of med school, and the fact that people aren't comfortable with a non-basic science curriculum.
Your work in Malawi looks cool.
PH -- I don't know what's up with the weird virus message. I haven't had any problems from my end. Maybe it's a blogger thing?
Could just be my overly sensitive settings as well.
While I have you attention, would you mind shooting me an email? I have a favor to ask of you if you have time. Link's on the front page of my blog.
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