If you're on duty in the hospital, you a) have no time, and b) cannot just leave to do errands. It's interesting to me the number of non-medical people who simply do not understand this.
I remember when I was buying my house, we ended up closing (of course) right in the middle of my Medicine sub-i. My real estate agent kept asking me whether I couldn't just [insert time consuming errand here] during the day or evening, and despite repeatedly telling her that I could not and why, she kept at it.
I tried to get as much done before that rotation started as possible. But there were two problems. 1) Some things you simply CAN'T do ahead of time when closing on a house, and 2) our agent occasionally couldn't be bothered to do things ahead of time for us. I recall telling her that I really would not be available and that we needed to get everything done in advance, and she just wouldn't get back to us. Perhaps somethings she couldn't expedite for us, but on other things, I couldn't help but feel that if she'd really believed that I wouldn't be available, she would have done her best help us out.
We did a power of attorney so that Luca could do the closing without me. Still, there were some things that he couldn't do, like withdraw money from my checking account. And then of course the bank f-ed up a transfer to some account to pay for the downpayment. When our agent suggested that I just go to the bank on Monday and everything would be fine, I screeched at her that NO I COULD NOT JUST LEAVE THE HOSPITAL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY TO TAKE CARE OF IT AT THE BANK. I was on call that day. It was seriously the last straw. I was really really livid.
She accused me of being drunk. As a result, I will never ever recommend her to anyone I know to buy a house. She simply didn't believe that I couldn't -- if I really wanted -- just leave work at the drop of a hat to take care of things.
(Fortunately in this case there was a bank branch within walking distance of the hospital, and because I had the most understanding, amazing resident ever, I was able to give him my pager for 30 minutes and run over there. If it had been ANYONE else, I'm sure it would have been a problem to ask.)
Anyhow, point is, some people just don't get it, no matter what you do to try to tell them. I'm sure there are other professions as well where this is the case, but it would be so much easier if the rest of the world would actually believe us when we said NO, and not try to convince us that we could really just leave work and take care of things if only we'd stop being so inflexible.
15 Pearls of Wisdom:
I'm not even at the point of rotations yet (so theoretically, I guess I could skip class to run errands), but I always wonder how medical students survived before online bill pay.
Yesterday, I heard some guy complaining at the Metro about how a doctor he had seen had the flu and dammit, why couldn't he just take the day off like everyone else because it's not like doctors don't make enough money that they can't afford it, blah blah blah. I kind of wanted to turn around and ask if his "doctor" was a resident and then set the record straight about this fictitious "time off" and "makes so much money." (Not that I'm advocating breathing all over your patients when you have the flu, but I don't think there's another choice sometimes.)
I've been in a spat with fedex lately- they won't just leave packages outside our door, we have to be home for them- I've called to complain and they suggested I skip class to wait for the packages. Seriously? Unfortunately, they won because I did skip class today, partly for that reason...
I know it will be so much worse next year...
I would tell FedEx that because they are not able to be flexible, you will not be using them in the future. I mean, it's true, right? You're not going to skip a day of your medicine rotation so that you can wait for your package (which may or may not arrive).
I had this problem when I was a consultant because I traveled out of state to my client site every week. Sure I could leave work at lunch, but it didn't help much since I was 2000 miles away. I got called up for jury duty and I kept trying to explain that I would never be in state on a business day. In order to be in town for jury duty, I would have to take the entire week off whether or not I was selected since the client wouldn't pay the cost of a last minute ticket to fly me up for just half the week if I wasn't selected. They could not seem to grasp this concept, so I just gave up, took the week off, and then, of course, wasn't selected.
Anon -- Of course, this is what they want you to do. The only system less flexible than medicine is the legal system. There is no getting out of jury duty no matter what, even if you are a resident. I've heard horror stories of residents getting selected for jury duty, and then having the trial go on for 3 months. Then what? Do you have to repeat your entire year of residency? Nevermind that your entire schedule for intern year/fellowships will be completely thrown off. It totally sucks.
In med school, they'll write us a letter so that we get out of jury duty. I'm not sure why they won't for residency also.
I have to explain this over and over again to well meaning friends and family. As an intern, my husband has very little time off and usually is sleeping on those days to flip his schedule. Family does not get it AT ALL. They call, they text, they want us to come to lunch, to come for a party etc... I'm pretty sure if we EVER get to the point where we can buy a house we'll be using a realtor whose husband is a doctor and their son is a resident. At least she'll have a clue.
I get this currently with my husband. People ask us to come out and do things in the evenings during the week all the time. Since he gets up at 5AM and goes to bed around 9PM after getting home at about 7:30, getting together with friends on a week night is more or less a non-option for us. The thing is, we'll get asked repeatedly by the same people to do things during the week, and even though we explain to them over and over, they don't ever seem to get it. They look perplexed each time, and say, "Surely he can come out for X in center city (which is a pain for us anyway) just this one time." Um, NO. We cannot.
I just hope they don't take it personally.
I've missed family and other social functions; left the opera, countless restaurants, and my 20th high school reunion after half an hour because I was paged. I never commit to retrieving the dog from the kennel without backup. I've had to reschedule appointments (oh, yes, I stood up a physician once, because one of my clients called, hysterical, because her horse's leg was fractured and swinging in the breeze). The physician's office didn't get it ("can't you go after your appointment?"). The physician, remarkably, did understand.
This is the way my life has been for the last ten years. It's true, I'm ambulatory, but I once saw this cartoon: (veterinarian to wife upon arriving home) "Well, honey, it's been one of those days: since 10AM my bladder has been full and my stomach has been empty."
I think the most frustrating part is not when people ask you, "Can't you go after your appointment?" But when you say no, and they act all put out like you're being an inflexible little brat. Of course, in the case of the example you gave, I might have been inclined to say, "Only if you let me break your leg with a crow bar and refuse to call the ambulance until after I see the doctor."
I'm just starting to appreciate this inflexibility. I had to get the long distance runaround from the school, because I couldn't pick up some forms from the MD office. The reason? They were only open 10-4, and I worked 8-6 at a hospital across town (so I couldn't even drive over at lunch).
It just infuriates me when people are so incredibly arrogant to suggest alternatives to my work schedule. State laws govern the ratio of pharmacists to technicians...I can't "just leave." Grrr.
OMG...I don't know how you suffered through your real estate agent. Bless your heart.
I think the thing that bugs me most about medicine is the inflexibility of the schedule. It's annoying if you're doing something like closing on a house, but it becomes even worse when you have medical issues that you can't ignore.
I remember I was at the hospital one night at 10PM and my husband called me, said he was really sick, and that he had passed out and bumped his head. It was the middle of the night and I couldn't even take him to the ER or do anything to help him.
Fizzy -- I called my friend who is a resident a few weeks back because the house next to hers was on fire -- street blocked off with smoke pouring out of the windows and fire trucks -- the works. She was on call, so obviously she couldn't do anything about it, and I would have called her boyfriend to investigate if I'd had his number. I actually felt BAD about bothering her at work and giving her unneeded stress that she couldn't do anything about. So yeah, it's that kind of thing that really sucks.
If you think it's tough to get away for critical errands in med school, just wait 'til residency!
I still haven't figured out how to get time off for my overdue yearly exam. Elective time is a long way away...
Well PGYx, I'm guessing residency will be kind of like my sub-i, which is what this post is about. But thanks!
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