I got an email from a reader asking me two things:
1) How much time do I spend with my husband?
2) How are we going to manage things after graduation?
The answer to 1 is simple: During med school we saw each other for about 1 hr/day. A bit more on weekends. The difficult part is wanting to hang out with him but not being able to because I have to study or work. Sometimes we saw each other less, say when I had to be in the hospital over night. Occasionally we saw each other more. He has a time consuming job too, and this is part of why.
The answer to 2 is: I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THIS. We still have three years before this will be an issue. His job is going really well, and if that continues, staying in Philadelphia would be a bigger priority. However, since he is in the private sector, who knows how things will be three years from now. As he says, he has the job security of a leaf blowing on a tree.
If things really go to hell at his job, then I will open my residency search up to the whole country. Then he can find a job where I move.
If they are still going reasonably well at his job, we will have a couple of options. 1) I can try to stay in Philly. 2) I can try to get a residency in a city where his company has a branch (NC, NYC, Boston, NJ, for instance). 3) I can try to stay NEAR Philly (NYC, Baltimore, NJ, Delaware).
A lot will depend on if we reproduce. He's going to be like a single parent anyway while I'm a resident, but if I move to another city, he actually will be a single parent while I'm a resident. I don't want to do that to him. (Plus don't tell him, I actually like having him around!)
Also, I'm not crazy about the idea of moving someplace more expensive than where we live now. Particularly with a kid. And a pit bull (mix). That pretty much rules out NYC and Boston.
So the short answer is I don't really know what we're going to do. More than 1/3 of my class tends to match at my institution, and I'm not planning on going into an uber-competitive field, so that will probably help.
We'll just have to see where we are when the time comes.
3 Pearls of Wisdom:
If you do decide to have kids, I can tell you that my husband definitely did NOT feel like a single parent when I was in residency. I guess it depends what residency you pick, but I don't think that you can *universally* say that if you have a child as a resident, your spouse will be like a single parent.
I feel your pain. My girlfriend is in another city, and she will graduate law school a year after I graduate medicine, so we're caught in the cruddy situation of me picking my residency program based on where she is now, but might not be there in one year's time.
Glad it's not universal Fizzy. I guess at least I don't plan on being a surgeon.
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