2011 in review

Ana posted a year in review over at her blog and I liked the idea so I decided to do the same here.

January -- Return from Christmas at my parents' house in CT. Find out I'm pregnant. Enjoy extra attention and affection showered on me from Luca. Get period a week later, and while I'm disappointed, see how devastated he is, which makes me feel worse. Start my final semester of full time class for my PhD, including a class on Outcomes Research which I love. Decide I want to focus my career on policy research. Put thesis project aside to start side project that my PI (temporarily) finds interesting.

February -- Get pregnant again! Finish side project, which PI no longer finds interesting, wondering out loud why I haven't made more progress on my thesis project. Grrr..... Luca is happy about the pregnancy news, but not as optimistic this time.

March -- Lose 2nd pregnancy. Really start hating class. Take Control Unleashed with the Boo, whose behavior improves immeasurably, at least in the class setting. Work on class, which takes up way more time than it should.

April -- Finish semester. Finally. Manage not to fail Operations research class and actually get an A, which in retrospect, it's an MBA class, why in heck was I worried, again?? Get pregnant again at the very end of the month, only this time I don't realize it.

May -- 34th birthday. Go to Outer Banks NC for "vacation" where I finish off my final projects for the semester and prepare a poster for the ATS conference I'm going to. Take pregnancy test which I swear is negative, but Luca thinks may be positive. I overrule him and have a margarita and raw oysters that night, and get my "period" the next day. I feel vindicated. I go to ATS the next week in Denver which goes swimmingly, but I feel like I've been knocked on my ass and retreat back to the hotel for a nap every day at 3PM. I attribute this exhaustion to jet lag and a cold I am getting over.

June -- I have my third positive pregnancy test, and then get my "period" three days later during the Department of Medicine Research Day. I take and finish the last class I hope to ever take for my PhD (crossing my fingers!) and start studying for my qualifying exams. And for real, get officially cracking on the first manuscript of my thesis, now that I've set aside the other "interesting" project that is no longer interesting. Luca and I start doing rock climbing on the weekends because we're bored with our exercise routines and I decide if I can't have a baby, then at least I'll get strong again.

July -- Almost finish manuscript but have to put it on hold to study for my qualifying exams. Study constantly for 4 weeks or so, and relearn a bunch of stuff that I never get tested on but which actually turns out to be quite useful. Go to see reproductive endocrinology because of 3 consecutive pregnancy losses. Wait for period so I can do day 3 labs. Period never arrives, and I conclude that I must be pregnant. It turns out I'm 13.5 weeks. Feel like the stupidest medical student ever. I call Luca to tell him the news. He is ecstatic, but never is as affectionate to me as he was after the first positive pregnancy test, and refuses to tell his parents because it could be bad luck.

August -- Studying for quals, prenatal labs and appointments out the wazoo, take qualifying exams (10 days of my life that I will never get back, and I don't think they even read the grant I had to write when they graded it -- we certainly didn't get any feedback on it if they did....). Go to St. Louis for my swim buddy's wedding, and have my first manicure and pedicure ever. Go to Italy for "vacation" while Luca has job crisis #2 on the year, and is a total basket case for the entire vacation. I hide in the bedroom and read 5 books.

September -- I return from vacation, finish my manuscript for thesis project #1 and submit it! I start TAing a class, which initially annoys me, but it turns out that I really like teaching undergrads. I start preparing my protocols for my oral candidacy exam.

October -- Revise and resubmit received for manuscript, which I am ecstatic about because all of the points are addressable. PI is more pessimistic. Keep working on my orals protocol. Belly really starts to pop at the beginning of the month and I feel fantastic. Things start going well with my PI and the rest of the project team, and at long last I feel I'm getting somewhere.

November -- Committee meeting goes well. Try to finish up analysis for previously abandoned paper, but then have to do revise and resubmit instead, and re-abandon previously abandoned paper. Submit IRB amendments for projects I ultimately will never do. I feel like I was working all the time that month but for the life of me I can't remember on what! Start and finish a bunch of projects on the house.

December -- Scrap third aim in the week before my oral candidacy exam protocol is due. Whip together other aim. Complete revise and resubmit. Submit continuing review documentation for grant with brand new aims and hope nobody at the NHLBI minds. Finish TAing. Catch two colds. Feel really enormous, and amazed at the same time how quickly time has flown since I found out I was pregnant. Think more about what I really want my life to be like and procrastinate by looking at real estate prices in various areas of the country on zillow.

Overall, I'd say the year improved steadily as it went along. Hopefully this trend will continue next year. I can't believe I only have 14 months of PhD-dom left, and then I'll return to med school. It's just crazy!