Thank you thank you THANK YOU for all your advice regarding sleeping and breastfeeding Miss D at night. Someone (I think it was Larissa) pointed out that passing out on the couch with the baby was probably at least as dangerous as sleeping with the baby in the bed, which is totally true, and I think helped sell Luca on the idea.
And I also want to apologize for snapping at Liana about already having a co-sleeper. Six months ago I didn't even know what a co-sleeper was, so if anything I should be impressed that she knows of their existence at all.
The issue with the co-sleeper is that it is located 3 feet away from me, which in D's mind is an unacceptably far distance. In fact, anything over 12-15" is too far in her mind. Thus, our problem. We've decided to try to have her spend more time in the bassinet during the day to get her used to not being in constant physical contact with us, and we suspect this will help. However this will probably take a little time.
Last night went much better. Luca and I went to bed at 11:30 after feeding D from 10-11, changing her 3x right before bed (for 3 poops spaced 15 minutes apart -- she is a machine). We put her *in the bed* next to us in her sleep sack, since she usually starts bawling inconsolably if we put her in the co-sleeper. Within about 30 minutes, she started rooting around my chest. I held out hope that maybe she'd fall asleep since she'd literally finished eating 30 minutes prior..... but then the sobbing started so I decided she probably really did need to eat and I put her back on my boob.
She remained on one boob or another, eating or sleeping (but mostly eating) from 12 last night to 6 this morning. Child loves the boob. However since we were feeding in the side-lying position, after she got a good latch I was able to snooze a little too while she ate. And since I have a giant blister on one nipple (am going to try the Lansiloh and the hydrogels this weekend), I can assure you that it was NOT a deep sleep.
Luca got up at 7 and offered to take D downstairs so I could have some real sleep, but she started crying and rooting around again, and after 30 minutes brought her back up to eat some more. We eventually got out of bed a little after 9.
I guess all of this explanation is to say that it would *actually* be impossible for me to get up out of bed to feed D at night because I'd never actually make it to the bed in the first place if we did that.
Anyway, this probably all sounds horrible to you (especially those of you sans kids), but I basically got 10 hours of light, off and on sleep last night, which is more than I've gotten for a week, and I feel completely glorious today.
I have a couple of goals for the day which include:
A) Tummy time
b) Alone time in the bassinet
c) A short walk OUTSIDE THE HOUSE (it is 50 degrees and lovely out, and I feel like I should take advantage)
In other news: I peed off 10 lbs of fluid over the past two days, and I can *almost* recognize my feet again. Also, I no longer have an outie. Yay!!
A couple of people have asked how the Boo is adapting to all of these changes. And I have to say, despite all of our concerns, she has actually been pretty awesome. I got progressively worse about giving her adequate attention and exercise over the course of my pregnancy, and I think that this has made the transition easier. Ha.
She finds D interesting, especially when she cries, but not in a bad or aggressive way. Mostly she just comes over to sniff. The "leave-it" command and the "look" command have been especially useful. She is way more interested in treats than in the baby. This morning when Luca took D downstairs, I invited Boo up on the bed. When Luca came back, she was snug under the covers, and neither of us had the heart to make her go back to her bed while I fed D, and Boo couldn't have been less interested in her.
I think the only thing that Boo really hates is that D keeps her up at night with her crying. Boo is a lady who appreciates her beauty sleep. On the plus side, a tired Boo is a well behaved Boo, so I really can't complain there either.
9 Pearls of Wisdom:
Wait, why is your cosleeper so far away? I am inches away from the baby with ours and sometimes I hold her hand. We use a cosleeper mini.
I could never get my husband to stop panicking over having Mel in our bed. He used to wake me up, him half-asleep, patting down my legs, saying, "Where is she???" Thinking I smothered her or something.
I don't know. We have a queen size bed and the sleeper is on my side as close to the head of the bed as we can get it. Maybe I just sleep more towards the middle of the bed, and it would be better if I moved more towards the edge? I CAN reach her with my right arm fully extended, but it still seems very far away.
I laughed at your comment about your husband. Mine does the same thing.
You're doing great! Isn't it weird to pee so much after so many months of peeing what feels like 1 tsp at a time? I also had gross gross gross sleep sweats for a good month that got rid of some of the fluid. Blech.
Later, if you like, a good, though unfortunately named book to read about baby sleep: The No Cry Sleep Solution. Really, don't let the name throw you. It came out when my 2nd was little and I found it very helpful. What I like about it is this:
1. It gives you information about normal sleep patterns for children 6mos and older, # of hours they are likely to sleep, # of naps they often take, etc.
2. It tells you lots of different strategies for dealing with lots of different situations
3. It gives you a framework for making and implementing a personal plan for changing your sleep behaviors.
You make a plan, implement, reflect then adapt. It is not one size fits all and it is not preachy (though there is a strong attachment parenting philosophy, I found it easy to ignore). and in our house, there was crying involved in the sleep behavior modification process so the title was not accurate for us.
I just hate the books that say "Do THIS and your baby WILL sleep" Like falling asleep is a universal condition. My husband can fall asleep with the TV on, he even prefers it when he's stressed out. I would *never* sleep if I had a TV in the bedroom. Can you imagine telling adults they all need to fall asleep the same way? No way. Same goes for babies & new families, you just figure out what works for you and you do it. Sometimes you need ideas of what to do though, and for us, this book was helpful.
Glad to hear you are getting some rest. Most days I could function on that "light sleep" if I got enough of it. I think all the hormones help with that.
Boo sounds like she's adjusting well. My pit was/is the most involved of all our dogs. I call him our nanny dog. He was always worried if someone cried. He still gets all in the middle of it if something big is going on.
As a heads up, I wouldn't be surprised if Boo backslides on the aggressive tendencies when you are out with Miss D and Boo.
I say this because our boxer who was never anything but friendly to the UPS man is much more aggressive to him since our daughter arrived, and there's been no change in the delivery guy. Now, admittedly it's been 8 years since we've really worked with her (she 9.5), but it occurred to me that you might want to be prepared for that situation.
Another thought I had which you can take or leave - if you can find a breastfeeding group or new mom's group, GO!!! You may not need any help with feeding D, but I have found it ever so helpful to have that base of other moms to turn to when things are strange. Plus, it is an incentive to get out of the house on those days when nothing seems to be going right (not to depress you, but there will be days like that).
No apology necessary, OMDG. I actually did not feel snapped at.
Mrs. Higrens -- Thanks for the heads up. Miss Boo always barked at the delivery guy, but yesterday she went completely berserk with hair standing up on end, much more aggressive than usual, etc.. We were wondering what was up with that. At least it wasn't directed at us or the baby. We will continue to follow our usual protocol of avoiding other dogs when we go out as well.
Hi, hopefully the feeding all night issue is cured by now, but just wondered if your bub could be a bit windy, and the resultant sore belly making her fuss and look to suck to soothe the discomfort rather than being hungry again so soon? (I'm barely qualified to comment I guess, as I've only gone through the newborn madness once so far, but I do remember it!) Just a thought.
Hope it's been a good day for you both :)
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