Luca got a week of paid paternity leave from his job (which is now over) and is taking next week off as well unpaid. After that, he'll be back to leaving for work by 6AM and returning home (usually) by 7PM.
I am terrified. How on earth am I going to manage all the stuff that needs to be done without him around?
It's not like there's *a lot* of it, or that any of it is really all that difficult to do. I basically have to feed and change the baby 100x per day, and walk the dog once. I've even hired a dog walker to do that middle part.
The problem is all those other things that come up that require the use of both of my hands at the same time. Like having to use the bathroom, eating, and showering. Or things that I realize need to occur while I'm feeding or changing the baby. Like getting a glass of water for myself, or fetching another onesie because D's diaper leaked all over her current one and the stash we keep by the changing table is out.
Do you have any idea how difficult it is to pull down one's (sweat)pants with one hand, change one's pad, and pull up one's pants? All with a squirming and crying baby in the other hand? Avoiding this situation requires planning, since you can't just leave the baby unattended on the changing table or on the bed/co-sleeper. This means that I really need to remember to bring her basket upstairs with me *before* I decide to try taking a nap with D so that when the need to pee arises three hours later* I am prepared.
In other news, we just woke up from a GLORIOUS -- UNINTERRUPTED -- THREE HOUR NAP with D in the co-sleeper (not the bed), and me unconscious in the bed next to her. The only problem with it was that it was ONLY three hours long, and now that D has eaten (actually, she's eating right now), I want to go back to bed.
Here's hoping that this new skill of D's (sleeping not on top of me) generalizes to sleeping at night as well.
*Do you realize how amazing it is that I can once again go for three hours without peeing?
17 Pearls of Wisdom:
It is so, so worth it to have a bouncy seat or other type of baby-holder that just lives permanently in the bathroom.
That last sentence is the part I loved the most about having the baby-both times. Three glorious hours without having to "pit stop" every quarter hour or less.
It's ok to drop a clean towel on the bathroom floor and lay the baby there while you pee or ... she'll be within sight and able to see you and you will have two hands for a few seconds. Course, that's all-a FEW seconds but it is a few more than now.
It's amazing all the things (sleep, the ability to pee) that one takes for granted. I have no advice to offer, but I hope you'll figure out some good solutions before too long. And I hope that the not sleeping on top of you habit carries on!
LHO -- Thanks for the suggestion re: clean towel. I really will use that one.
three hours uninterrupted? Sounds like progress to me! Go D!
Okay, why can't little D start helping out with stuff like cooking, cleaning, walking the dog by herself, or changing her own diaper? I mean, sheesh, she's over a week old already.
If you are hauling a bassinet up the stairs, you really should buy another one. They're like $20 on Amazon.
When she gets to be about one month old, she'll probably be happy in a swing for maybe 30 minutes--long enough to shower. I recommend a papasan swing. And then when they're sitting up, the exer-saucers are great.
Of course, I shouldn't talk, since I've been chastised at daycare for holding the baby too much at home so that she now requires "excessive holding."
ooh ooh. I know the answer to this one...Baby carrier. I swear by the Ergo with the infant insert, which you can use on a few day old infant (and we are still using with our 2 year old...so TOTALLY worth the $$); some others have minimum age requirements. Neither of mine were cool with being put down AT ALL. [Swing? Bouncer? Floor? Ha!!!] You can totally pee with the baby in the carrier, and get water, or whatever else it is you need to do.
I'll add my unsolicited advice (with good intent.. that's what matters, right?) Invest $20 in one of those cheapish bouncy seats (the ones that have the metal wire thing as the base.. you know what I mean? I'd link, but I'm lazy.) I broke down and had two (again, see the lazy thing).. one in the bathroom I used most to put Hunter in while I went to the bathroom, and one in the kitchen so that I could do things with two hands.
Other moms are HUGE fans of the sling things.. apparently they allow you to do ALL kinds of two-handed things, even vacuuming and laundry! I don't know that I'd have been that ambitious (lazy plus massively sleep deprived is not a good combo for productivity) but those Super Moms seem to swear by it.
Good luck, and I hope you get some good chunks of sleep in!
(PS.. more photos please.)
I'll probably start using the baby carrier in a week or so. Right now it presses on my incision, which feels a little funny.
Haha! Reminds me of myself five years ago when I had my first. You are going to be fine. I can tell that you are already a wonderful mom. Things get easier with time.
*I used to hold my baby going to the BR. I even BF while going to the BR. Ran out of time during the day! That was so unsanitary!
A few suggestions - that were tried and tested through about 4 child-years by me and mine daughter in her turn: It doesn't hurt her to be put down and grizzle for a few minutes whilst you do a YOU thing. I had mine next to me in their buggy all the time I was doing things and as long as they knew I was there it was fine. Talk to her and keep touching her and she will get used to it. Baby carriers and the bouncy seats are brilliant too. It's a learning curve for both of you and in a month or so you won't believe what you can do with one hand ;-)
But at some point she will have to accept being put down - and a little bit of practice now will go a long way - I'm absolutely NOT advocating leaving her to scream for ages, a few minutes at a time is OK though. And diapers - save a change, change her after a feed unless she fusses desperately about a dirty one, many babies actually like being in a dirty diaper (I know, strange!). And loads of babies like noise - mine liked the vacuum cleaner running! Dirty onesies will reduce in number as your diaper fastening skills improve and she grows - in the meantime wrap a sheet or blanket round her to save leaks onto you until you can finish the feed.
She is a sweety though - no wonder you want to cuddle her!
Congratulations to you all! You are doing great; I couldn't have walked around the block so soon after my c-sections. And I can't believe you can write coherently at this point!
My 3 kids all spent tons of time sleeping in our beds as infants, and children. They all virtually lived in front pack carriers for a very long time. Our full sized stroller was a waste of money because they were carried so much. Not for everyone however.
If your daughter doesn't like being put down & doesn't like tummy time (as many infants don't), combine them when you need a few minutes of 2 handed time. If the bathroom floor is hard, put a changing pad down, covered with a towel; easy, cheap & fast to clean up.
Keep it up; you are doing fantastically! And your daughter is adorable; she has a lovely face.
I was anemic after a surgery like you and I couldn't believe how emotional and on edge I was - Hgb 7; Ferritin 3. Wow, 2 wks later it was so much better. So, the anemia was an added insult. Restless legs, twitchy arms and legs, snoring, crying randomly, couldn't take any critism. Anemia sucks. Sounds like you are doing great. Have a friend visit halfway through the 2nd day for company.
Repeat after me: "I CAN DO THIS" - and you can! It will seem difficult and hard but as you learn all of Little D's habits, it does get easier or rather you are so exhausted it doesn't even bother you anymore. Although you will hate me for saying this, in California, fathers get 6 weeks of paid family leave from the state and if they make more than what the state pays, it can be supplemented by your company's vacation time. All of the dads we know only took 2 weeks but my husband opted to take all 6 (and boy am I lucky he did!). You and Luca should talk about how he should help you once he gets home from work because unlike the job that pays you, child care is ALL the time.
I am so excited for you that you were able to sleep for 3 hours! Woo-hoo!
What saved my sanity for doing 'me' things like pumping or going to the bathroom or making food was to have a (cheap!) bouncy chair in each room. That had the added benefit of being off the floor so as not to get stepped on by the dog. I could always talk and coo too while my hands were busy.
Post a Comment